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November 2013
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25th November 2013   

Well, that’s that then… D is pretty much weaned.

It wasn’t his choice to do it, and that makes me very sad. However, I could not continue to breastfeed him – it was just too painful :( I’m guessing it’s something to do with the fact that I am in the late stages of this pregnancy (no other problems found), but it is absolutely agonising for him to be on now. Sometimes I can cope – we managed a couple of times in the morning over the weekend – but for the most part I think our bf relationship is well and truly over. I no longer feed him to sleep; I no longer give him sleepy milky cuddles; he no longer runs to me when I get back from work expecting a feed. He’s ok with it as long as he’s kept distracted. It was never a food thing in these last few months/weeks anyway (pretty sure I’ve had nothing – maybe just a bit of colostrum – for a while now) but a comfort thing, so as long as that is taken care of, he does not mind so much.

Of course, he still wants to feed and that makes me even sadder :( I’m hoping that once the milk comes back in for #2 that he will be able to feed once again, and we will be able to continue where we left off. I really wanted to go to 2 years with this and not wean at just short of 18 months, but it’s distressing both of us now and that’s not good. I hope in that respect that it is simply a side-effect of pregnancy that’s causing the ultra-sensitivity and not that his latch has deteriorated beyond repair, but we shall see.

I have noticed that since ‘forcing’ the weaning issue (at night to start with), D sleeps through the night comfortably now. I have mixed feelings about that; on the one hand I am pleased that he is getting undisturbed sleep, that’s good for everyone. On the other hand, it comes back down to doing this against his will, and feeling like he sleeps through because he knows there’s no other option :(

Taking each day as it comes. Who knows – perhaps tomorrow everything will be ok again.

Team yellow

8th November 2013   

It is kind of weird to be heading towards the later stages of this pregnancy without knowing what we’re expecting. With D, we asked at the 20 week scan and were told with “almost complete” certainty that he was a boy. I’d been feeling that he was a boy from quite early on, so I had no problems with starting to refer to the impending addition as ‘he’.

This time, we again asked to find out at 20 weeks, but the sonographer could not tell us either way because the baby’s umbilical chord was in the way and they could not get it into a better position. We didn’t do any further scans because quite honestly we didn’t see the need. Again, I have felt since quite early on that this is a boy; and once again I can think of several girl names I like but no boys’. We didn’t have D’s name sorted until around a week or two before he was born, and I really have no inspiration at all this time :( If you believe all the old wives’ tales, then those would agree with my feeling of boyness – I’m carrying all high up at the front again (bump is identical to D’s, basically. Even following the same growth patterns), and the skull/nub stuff looks exactly the same as D’s did. However, I’ve not been feeling comfortable calling the new baby either he or she – well, maybe more he than she. Him indoors thinks it’s a girl and has been referring to it as she and “your sister” to D, to which I automatically add “or brother” :P

Ah well, we’ll find out eventually, won’t we? Even though we were fairly confident with D’s gender, we still stayed with gender-neutral clothing, bedding and everything else we bought before he arrived. That wasn’t just in case he was a girl, but also for the benefit of any subsequent babies who may or may not be boys ;) Anyway, we’ll be set whether we’re team pink or blue. I’m not generally a fan of pink or dresses anyway (but I am a big fan of blue…), so if it does turn out to be a girl then she’ll still be dressed in blue things ;)

Preparing for #2

1st November 2013   

It occurred to me recently that our second baby could be here in a mere few weeks. It’s not due for another 2 months yet but if things happen early, I am not in the least bit ready!

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